


fresh or something

by garbagecannot



Series: next gens [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Also features main captain squad but they're not the focus, Captain Squad 2.0, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Gen, I tagged the biggest friendships I guess, Light Flirting, headcanons galore, is that a thing lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-06-03 23:23:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6631324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garbagecannot/pseuds/garbagecannot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>futakuchis:</b> so basically<br/><b>futakuchis:</b> this is our 'get-along' shirt</p><p>The 2nd year captains are told to make friends. They're not quite as eager as their 3rd year counterparts had hoped.</p>
            </blockquote>





	fresh or something

**Author's Note:**

> canon is an illusion now  
> my self indulgence holds no bounds

**Conversation Title:** Fun group activity

**Conversation description:**

GET ALONG PLEASE

PLEASE

PLEASE

**Current members:**

Sawamura

oikawaduction

Moniwa*Kaname

UshiWaka

catman

owlways

 

 **catman:** So what's happening

 **owlways:** COUNTRY BOYS

 **oikawaduction:** stay out of this we only need you two to be our spies

 **catman:** oh whoa ok what are we spying on

 **oikawaduction:** our children

 **owlways:** WHAT??!?! YOU HAVE KIDS

 **owlways:** WHERE

 **owlways:** I LOVE KIDS

 **Sawamura:** We don't have kids, and I don't know why Oikawa said that. 

 **UshiWaka:** It seems that Oikawa's slang was referring to our succeeding captains.

 **oikawaduction:** slang my ass

 **Moniwa*Kaname:** Um!!! Yeah what they said but you don't have to spy on them exactly!! You can even mute this chat, we just need you to pull them back in if any of them try to leave.

 **catman:** so... nobody is allowed to escape. got it. we can do that.

 **owlways:** DO WE GET TO PLAY THE BIG BAD

 **catman:** yes

 **owlways:** I ALWAYS WANTED TO PLAY THE BIG BAD

 **catman:** I got u bro

 **Sawamura:** This isn't going to work. They'll murder each other.

 **Sawamura:** Well, actually, I trust Ennoshita to be mature about it but I don't trust your successors quite as much. No offence. They're capable volleyball wise but...

 **oikawaduction:** RUDE

 **oikawaduction:** my son is perfect (like me)✌

 **Sawamura:** Your son?

 **oikawaduction:** beside the point

 **Moniwa*Kaname:** I know what you're thinking, Sawamura

 **Moniwa*Kaname:** I'm kind of worried about Futakuchi myself

 **Moniwa*Kaname:** he’s only been captain for a little while and I’m afraid he’ll stress himself out

 **Moniwa*Kaname:** but that's why we should give them the chance to get to know each other!!

 **Moniwa*Kaname:** so they’ll have a support network! :)

 **oikawaduction:** exactly. it's like childcare.

 **owlways:** EVIL CHILDCARE??

 **catman** : can we please put akaashi in this for shits and giggles

 **UshiWaka** : They are teenagers.

 **oikawaduction** : let akaashi rest

 **Sawamura** : I don't know, guys...

 **Moniwa*Kaname** : Maybe we could have a back up plan? In case things get out of hand?

 **oikawaduction** : hmmm

 **oikawaduction** : sawamura dont you know that cap from johzenji too??

 **Sawamura** : Uh, yeah, but... Terushima is the opposite of damage control, you realise.

 **owlways** : TERUSHIMA??? I LOVE TERUSHIMA

 **catman** : that kid's hilarious

 **catman** : I agree to putting him in

 **Sawamura:** Are you sure about that?

 **UshiWaka** : Johzenji's playing style of unpredictability can be used as a weapon.

 **oikawaduction** : get out @ushiwaka nobody asked you

 **Moniwa*Kaname** : Ushijima's right though! We should put him in anyway! We really don't have anything to lose...

 **Sawamura** : We could lose the respect our underclassmen have for us.

 **oikawaduction** : lol what respect??

 **catman** : LOUDLY SECONDED

 **Moniwa*Kaname:** Give them the benefit of the doubt!

 **Moniwa*Kaname:** I think Oikawa had a great idea.

 **oikawaduction:** thank you for acknowledging my genius

 **Sawamura:** ... I'll send you Terushima's details but...

 **Sawamura:** This is a disaster waiting to happen.

 **UshiWaka:** However, soil has the tendency to harden after rain.

 **oikawaduction:** UGH CAN U JUST

 **catman:** nice @ushiwaka. take risks my man.

 **oikawaduction:** ok well anyway let's give moniwa the honors bc nobody can ever hate him

 **Moniwa*Kaname:** That's ... surprisingly sweet, coming from you.

 **UshiWaka:** Oikawa is avoiding responsibility.

 **oikawaduction:** GO AWAY

 **Moniwa*Kaname:** ALRIGHT I'M DOING IT PLEASE DON'T FIGHT

 

_Moniwa*Kaname has added futakuchis, shirabae, classyahaba, Ennoshita and time2party to the conversation._

 

 **Moniwa*Kaname:** Have fun, guys!

 **oikawaduction:** bye losers (ﾟ∀ﾟ)

 **futakuchis** : wait wtf

 **futakuchis** : WHAT IS THIS

 **classyahaba** : "Fun group activity"??? "GET ALONG PLEASE"?????

 **UshiWaka** : Team strengthening exercise.

 **shirabae** : ... it's what?

 

_UshiWaka has left the conversation._

 

 **shirabae** : wait?

 **futakuchis** : HA you got abandoned

 

_Moniwa*Kaname has left the conversation._

 

 **classyahaba** : lol there goes your captain too

 **futakuchis** : fuc k

 

_oikawaduction has left the conversation._

 

 **shirabae** : bye "loser"

 **classyahaba** : WOW

 **classyahaba** : HOW DARE YOU

 **classyahaba** : talking shit about my captain

 **classyahaba** : how dare you actually

 **futakuchis** : holy shit calm down

 **futakuchis** : it's been like 2 secs

 **time2party** : new group chat who dis

 **shirabae** : who are you

 **time2party** : WHO AM I NOT XD lolol!!? lmfao ~so philosophical~ XDD rawr

 **futakuchis** : kick them out

 **futakuchis** : someone kick them out

 **classyahaba** : shirabu kenjirou come here and fight me

 **shirabae** : no

 **shirabae** : how do I kick time2party out

 **time2party** : NOOO NO OMG I was joking dude

 **time2party** : please don't kick me out I love group chats

 **Ennoshita** : My phone keeps vibrating, what's going on?

 **futakuchis** : ennoshitaaaaaaa YO

 **Ennoshita** : Hi?

 **classyahaba** : oh good ennoshita

 **classyahaba** : we like ennoshita

 **Ennoshita** : Who's 'we'? What is this chat?

 **shirabae** : good question

 **Ennoshita** : Uh, well, I'd like to get back to work so if it's not important...

 **Ennoshita** : I'm leaving.

_Ennoshita has left the conversation._

 

_Sawamura has added Ennoshita to the conversation._

 

 **Ennoshita** : ... Daichi?

 

_Sawamura has left the conversation._

 

 **futakuchis** : AND THERE HE GOES

 **futakuchis** : you've been ditched enno

 **futakuchis** : rest in pieces with the rest of us

 **Ennoshita** : Wait, but can't I just

 

_Ennoshita has left the conversation._

 

_catman has added Ennoshita to the conversation._

 

 **catman** : no-one must leave. captains’ orders.

 **owlways** : BRO I WAS GONNA SAY THAT

 **catman** : sshh now we slink back into the shadows and pretend we don't exist

 **owlways** : goodbye dear children

 **Ennoshita** : .... KUROO?? BOKUTO?????

 **futakuchis** : who?????????

 **time2party** : WE'RE BEING WATCHED...

 **time2party** : IT'S A CONSPIRACY

 **shirabae** : stop overreacting

 **shirabae:** now

 **shirabae** : who are you anyway

 **time2party** : ONLY THE CAPTAIN OF THE GREATEST VBALL TEAM EVER

 **time2party** : TERUSHIMA YUUJI AT YOUR SERVICE

 **futakuchis** : what team

 **time2party** : WILDCATS

 **futakuchis** : that's not what I meant asshat

 **Ennoshita** : He's the captain of Johzenji.

 **futakuchis** : THANK YOU

 **shirabae** : oh them

 **shirabae** : yellow team?

 **time2party** : THAT ME

 **classyahaba** : nice

* * *

 

 **catman** : yo you guys need to socialise

 **catman** : talk or something

 **owlways** : this is like that movie inside out but EVERYONE is the green one

 **catman** : disgust?? lmao

 **owlways** : yeah!!

 **catman** : I feel like you're right actually

 **catman** : teru is joy though

 **time2party** : OH!!! THANKS MAN I LOVE JOY

 **futakuchis:** of course you do

 **catman** : now that you're talking

 **catman** : I have to Go

 **owlways** : PLAY NICE CHILDREN!!

 **time2party** : BYEEE?

 **futakuchis** : .... ok

 **futakuchis** : so basically

 **futakuchis** : this is our 'get-along' shirt

 **classyahaba** : uuughhh spare me

 **Ennoshita** : I mean

 **Ennoshita** : they had good intentions

 **shirabae** : betrayal

 **classyahaba** : fraternising with the enemy?

 **futakuchis** : death

 **time2party** : pulling the sticks out of ur asses

 **Ennoshita** : no! Improving inter-team relations

 **Ennoshita** : seriously what the hell

 **Ennoshita** : your answers are the exact reason none of us get along

 **classyahaba** : thanks mom

 **futakuchis** : idk man I think we get along fine

 **shirabae** : p.s. he's lying

 **futakuchis:** p.s.s. don’t tell him that

 **classyahaba:** you’re literally typing it into the chat you realize

 **time2party:** that’s the point u realize

 **Ennoshita** : I am trying to do the right thing and you all keep raining on my parade.

 **Ennoshita:** Can we please at least try this?

 **Ennoshita:** You know, since the captains did put this together in order for us to benefit from it?

 **Ennoshita:** I don’t want to be here any more than you do.

 **time2party** : whoa

 

_time2party has changed Ennoshita's name to ennosuffering._

 

 **ennosuffering** : You're not wrong.

 **classyahaba** : ok yeah I'm sorry. It's been a long day.

 **futakuchis** : wanna talk about it?

 **classyahaba** : not really

 **time2party** : we all have our days man

 **time2party** : don't worry, be happy!

 **shirabae** : let's mcfreakin lose it

 **ennosuffering** : is shiratorizawa secretly a meme farm or

 **shirabae** : you tell me

 **classyahaba** : getting real tired of your shit shirabu

 **shirabae** : eat shit yahaba

 **classyahaba** : fuck you

 **futakuchis** : look. pretty setters. just let it go ok. if our senpais really mean for us to do this, we gotta do it. for them.

 **ennosuffering** : who are you and what did you do with the real futakuchi

 **shirabae** : believe me

 **shirabae** : the only reason why I'm still here is because of ushijima tbh

 **futakuchis** : feelin the love shirabu

 **time2party** : so are we all friends now

 **shirabae** : no

 **classyahaba** : wait did you say pretty setters

 **futakuchis** : yahaba

 **futakuchis** : let it go

* * *

 

 **time2party** : so how are you all!! feeling good?? I'm great thanks for asking

 **futakuchis** : so I heard

 **futakuchis** : that you were being a fuckboy the other day, terushima

 **time2party** : UM??? EXCUSE ME??? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

 **ennosuffering** : just leave it alone futakuchi

 **futakuchis** : I'm just curious!! Did you really keep pursuing those girls when they said no? Because that's not cool man

 **futakuchis** : and karasuno's manager too

 **futakuchis:** everyone knows she’s pretty but that is NOT an excuse OR an invitation

 **time2party** : ok that was ONE time

 **time2party** : ... TWO times but

 **time2party** : I learnt my lesson

 **time2party** : and now I'm gay

 **futakuchis** : what

 **time2party** : gay as in HAPPY lmao PSYCHE

 **ennosuffering** : ........

 **ennosuffering** : terushima

 **time2party** : DONT LOOK AT ME

* * *

 

 **time2party** : ok I lied I'm bi

 **shirabae** : good for you?

 **time2party** : I've learned from my mistakes

 **time2party** : takeharu, my pretty setter, kicked my ass

 **shirabae** : your pretty setter

 **shirabae** : he your bf?

 **time2party** : what??? NO omg!! noooo I couldn't date anyone on my team

 **time2party** : I can't even take them seriously half the time

 **time2party** : I just realised that all setters are pretty and it's not fair..

 **shirabae** : ...

 **time2party** : you too shirabae <3

 **shirabae** : we don't talk about my fucking screen name

* * *

 

 **classyahaba** : I wanna talk about shirabu's screen name

 **shirabae** : what did I literally just say yahaba

 **classyahaba** : I was wondering about it

 **classyahaba** : it doesn't seem like something you would willingly do??

 **shirabae** : yeah bc I didn't write it

 **classyahaba** : then who did?

 **shirabae** : gtg lots of study to do

 **classyahaba** : WHO DID????

* * *

 

 **futakuchis:** hey can we please change the group name

 **futakuchis:** bc I feel like a 5 year old

 **time2party:** u wanna hear a ‘fun group activity’ I can think of ;)

 **futakuchis:** gdi terushima

 

_time2party has changed the conversation name to yuuji is the best._

**futakuchis:** … that’s even worse

 **time2party:** wow rude

 

_time2party has changed the conversation name to futaRUDEchi._

**futakuchis:** look nvm  
**futakuchis:** I’m changing it back

 

_futakuchis has changed the conversation name to ‘fun’ group shindig._

**time2party:** I can’t believe u still use shindig

 **futakuchis:** shut up

 **time2party:** hey I got a good one

 

_time2party has changed the conversation name to Fresh Captains._

**time2party:** that’s one thing we have in common right?

 **time2party:** well u and I are the captains

 **time2party:** the others can be the fresh part

 **futakuchis:** fine yeah ok

* * *

 

 **shirabae:** why do you have to use the word ‘fresh’ specifically

 **time2party:** don’t question me bro

* * *

 

 **ennosuffering** : I can't believe I'm coming back to this chat but

 **ennosuffering** : do you guys have any tips on how to deal with people that just won't listen to you?

 **time2party** : BRIBE THEM WITH FOOD

 **time2party** : OR THREATEN THEM

 **time2party** : TELL THEM U WONT BE FRIENDS ANYMORE

 **time2party** : BREAK THEIR HEART

 **futakuchis** : tell them they have to go to the time out corner

 **ennosuffering** : thanks terushima

 **ennosuffering** : but no thanks to futakuchi

 **futakuchis** : WOW

 **futakuchis** : it works with my team jfc

 **time2party** : even ur big guy??

 **futakuchis** : which one

 **time2party** : THE BIG ONE

 **futakuchis** : IT'S DATEKOU EVERYONE IS BIG

 **futakuchis** : except sakunami he's tiny

 **time2party** : that's not what I heard last night ;)

 **futakuchis** : ok terushima you have 5 seconds to gtfo

* * *

 

 **classyahaba:** ‘it’s datekou everyone is big’ – Futakuchi Kenji

 **classyahaba:** I’d frame that

 **futakuchis:** yahaba why

 **classyahaba:** ok but the real reason I’m here is just to say

 **classyahaba:** I really admire oikawa aaaa

 **futakuchis:** I repeat, yahaba why

 **classyahaba:** what do you mean why?!

 **futakuchis:** it’s oikawa tooru

 **classyahaba:** yes?? and???

 **futakuchis:** it’s oikawa tooru

 **futakuchis:** just let that sink in

 **classyahaba:** you’re just jealous

* * *

 

 **futakuchis:** oh yeah shirabu who wrote your screenname btw

 **shirabae:** I said we don’t talk about my screen name

 **futakuchis:** are you dating someone? are they on your team? how long have you been together?

 **shirabae:** well aren’t you a nosy piece of shit

 **futakuchis:** do you call each other petnames? do you walk each other home? if they’re not on your team, how do you know them?

 **shirabae:** now I know why people find you annoying

 **futakuchis:** I’m just curious lmao

 **futakuchis:** I didn’t think you were capable of feelings

 **futakuchis:** at least not that kind of feeling

 **futakuchis:** actually no, not any kinds of feelings at all

 **shirabae:** ugh

 **shirabae:** fuck off

 **shirabae:** yes I’m with someone

 **shirabae:** no I don’t want to talk about it

 **shirabae:** yes my s/o wrote my screen name

 **shirabae:** yes I’m too much of a fucking sap to change it

 **shirabae:** leave me alone

 **shirabae:** good bye

 **futakuchis:** wow I didn’t expect you to actually say all that!

 **futakuchis:** I feel like this experience has brought us closer

 **shirabae** : okay... that sounds fake but okay

 **classyahaba:** oh I see how it is

 **classyahaba:** so you’ll tell futakuchi but you won’t tell me

 **futakuchis:** HA

 **futakuchis: ‘** you’re just jealous’ – Yahaba Shigeru

 **classyahaba:** go away

* * *

 

 **classyahaba** : hey

 **classyahaba** : can I be honest with you guys?

 **futakuchis** : it's officially Honesty Hour so go for gold (//ー￣ )

 **shirabae** : is that stupid slash thing supposed to resemble your hair?

 **futakuchis** : shut up we are having our first broment with yahaba

 **futakuchis** : don't ruin it

 **classyahaba** : sigh

 **futakuchis** : what's up man

 **futakuchis** : besides y'know, the ceiling, the sky, and all those other overused answers

 **classyahaba** : I just...

 **classyahaba** : I don't know

 **classyahaba** : I don't really feel like I'm the right person to be future captain I guess

 **classyahaba** : filling oikawa's shoes is gonna be really tough

 **classyahaba** : I don't know if I'm ready for that I guess

 **classyahaba** : ...

 **classyahaba** : sorry for being such a downer

 **classyahaba** : I didn't know who else to talk to

 **classyahaba** : usually I go to oikawa himself but... y'know

 **ennosuffering** : I wasn't going to say anything but you know what, I feel the same way, Yahaba.

 **ennosuffering** : being led by a great captain like Daichi is one thing

 **ennosuffering** : but being the one to replace him?? that's definitely not easy

 **classyahaba:** oh hey ennoshita

 **classyahaba** : thanks for understanding

 **futakuchis** : mmmmmmm MMMM you guys are overthinking things

 **classyahaba** : ???

 **ennosuffering** : you think so?

 **futakuchis** : ok look

 **futakuchis** : am I moniwa?? fuck no. I couldn't be him if I tried. in fact I start half the fights on my team, not end them

 **futakuchis** : I am a certified piece of shit and I know it (believe me even aone wanted to punch me once whoops)

 **futakuchis** : but does that stop me from being captain?? not at all. don't think that you HAVE to become Oikawa or Daichi. you don't HAVE to become anything.

 **futakuchis** : you guys were chosen, sure, but the team isn't expecting you to carry their weight on your shoulders

 **futakuchis** : they're not expecting you to change either

 **futakuchis** : you lead in your own way and your team will learn

 **futakuchis** : everyone on your team is your ally

 **futakuchis** : they believe in you and you should believe in yourselves too

 **futakuchis** : OK SAP TIME OVER I'M GOING TO BED BYE

 **ennosuffering** : IT'S 7PM WTF

 **classyahaba** : ... that was really nice, thanks

 **classyahaba** : I know you're still here futakuchi

 **classyahaba** : so I'll just say

 **classyahaba** : you're not as shitty as I thought you were

 **futakuchis** : compliments galore

 **ennosuffering** : yeah ok you were pretty cool back there

 **ennosuffering** : inspirational even

 **futakuchis** : yes. shower me

 **futakuchis** : tell me more

 **classyahaba** : don't push your luck

 **shirabae** : is sleepover saturday over yet

 **classyahaba** : I believe futakuchi called it Honesty Hour

 **shirabae** : oh

 **shirabae** : any honest confessions that anyone else wants to make while we're at it?

 **time2party** : my team is full of butts

 **ennosuffering** : ... thanks terushima

 **classyahaba** : you're late to the party

 **time2party** : fashionably late ;)

 **classyahaba** : ew don't wink at me

 **time2party** : heyy yahaba ;) ;)

 **classyahaba** : s t o p

 **time2party** : yahabbyy ;)

 **classyahaba** : STOP

 **futakuchis** : flirt game weak terushima

 **time2party** : like u can do better

 **futakuchis** : ennoshita come here

 **ennosuffering** : I am not letting you involve me in your schemes!!!

 **time2party** : are u sayin

 **time2party** : u would flirt w/ ennoshita

 **ennosuffering** : wait ?? what

 **futakuchis** : terushima

 **futakuchis** : let it go

 **ennosuffering** : WAIT WHAT

 **time2party** : gaaayyyy

 **shirabae** : ...

 **shirabae** : (softly, with a lot of feeling) what the fuck

* * *

 

 **futakuchis** : HEY GUYS

 **futakuchis** : GUESS WHAAAAT :) :) :)

 **classyahaba** : can you not use caps

 **classyahaba** : I just woke up fml ur too loud

 **futakuchis** : LMAO

 **futakuchis** : YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO

 **classyahaba** : futakuchi kenji

 **futakuchis** : YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME

 **futakuchis** : ALSO WHO TOLD YOU MY FULL NAME

 **classyahaba** : are you ok

 **futakuchis** : PEACHY

 **classyahaba** : are you sure

 **futakuchis** : BITCH I MIGHT BE

 **classyahaba** : you wanna talk about it?

 **futakuchis** : I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE HAVING A MID-LIFE CRISIS

 **futakuchis** : NOBODY IS PAYING ME FOR THIS

 **futakuchis** : WHY MUST I SUFFER

 **classyahaba** : um

 **futakuchis** : KOGANEGAWA I SWEAR TO GOD

 **classyahaba** : ah. that's your... new setter right? with the... rooster hair?

 **futakuchis** : HE IS THE PROBLEM CHILD

 **futakuchis** : I CAN'T EVEN YELL AT HIM TOO HARSHLY BECAUSE THEN I FEEL BAD

 **futakuchis** : HE'S SO DETERMINED YET SO DUMB

 **futakuchis** : I'M SORRY SAKUNAMI

 **futakuchis** : I LEAVE HIM IN YOUR HANDS

 **futakuchis** : NOW AND FOREVER

 **futakuchis** : I AM DONE

 **classyahaba** : good luck…?

 **futakuchis:** I CAN’T BELIEVE KOGANEGAWA EXISTS

 **futakuchis:** HE PRETENDS TO UNDERSTAND WHAT I’M SAYING

 **futakuchis:** BUT I SWEAR HE DOESN’T GET IT AT ALL

 **ennosuffering:** I feel your pain

 **ennosuffering:** good morning btw

 **futakuchis:** I HAVEN’T HAD A GOOD MORNING FOR 17 YEARS

 **ennosuffering:** stop being so melodramatic

 **classyahaba:** er, I’m gonna leave him to you now ennoshita

 **classyahaba:** I don’t have the energy to deal with this

 **classyahaba:** bye guys

 **futakuchis:** I CAN’T BELIEVE KOGANEGAWA SCARED OFF YAHABA

 **ennosuffering:** yahaba’s gone because of you, you numbskull

 **futakuchis:** I CAN’T BELIEVE KOGANEGAWA

 **ennosuffering:** there there

* * *

 

 **classyahaba** : okay if this couple doesn't stop making out in front of me I am going to kick them I don't even care

 **classyahaba** : seriously?? this is a school hallway and nobody wants to see that

 **classyahaba** : like I get it if you think pda is nice or w/e but some people are trying to get to their lockers in peace

 **classyahaba** : are they exhibitionists? do they think school is a joke?

 **classyahaba** : MOVE

 **classyahaba** : this is worse than those people that walk in groups and block the entire path

 **classyahaba** : at least those people go somewhere

 **classyahaba** : even if it is at the pace of dead snails

 **futakuchis** : pass the salt yahaba jfc

 **classyahaba** : i am the salt

 **ennosuffering** : what does that even MEAN

 **time2party** : hello my fellow dudes

 **time2party** : do u wanna know what else is salty ;)

 **classyahaba** : terushima

 **classyahaba** : can you maybe STOP!!!

 **futakuchis** : salthaba

 **futakuchis** : can you maybe chill?

 **classyahaba** : how about maybe you chill?

 **ennosuffering** : ugh why am I surrounded by memes

 **futakuchis** : you should be glad shirabu isn't here

 **futakuchis** : shiratorizawa meme farm and all

* * *

 

 **shirabae** : you guys are seriously so annoying

 **futakuchis** : SHIRABU

 **futakuchis** : MY MEME BOY

 **futakuchis** : you've returned from the wild I see

 **shirabae** : I detest the title 'meme boy'

 **futakuchis** : meme farmer then

 **shirabae** : whatever I guess

* * *

 

 **futakuchis** : hey, ennoshita?

 **ennosuffering** : yes?

 **futakuchis** : was yahaba always this nice

 **ennosuffering** : what do you mean?

 **futakuchis** : I met him irl today

 **futakuchis** : he was shopping w his friend watari

 **futakuchis** : and he was really nice to me???

 **ennosuffering** : why wouldn't he be?

 **ennosuffering** : Yahaba is a really nice guy

 **ennosuffering** : though I guess since you only saw him during your match against Seijoh

 **ennosuffering** : and he slammed Kyoutani into a wall

 **ennosuffering** : I can see why you may have thought otherwise

 **futakuchis** : that's true

 **futakuchis** : k thanks

 **futakuchis** : I thought he hated me so I was confused I guess

 **ennosuffering** : I thought you didn't care??

 **futakuchis** : idk man I kinda do??

* * *

 

 **ennosuffering** : I'm crying

 **futakuchis** : was it

 **futakuchis** : a) tanaka

 **futakuchis** : b) nishinoya

 **futakuchis** : c) daichi leaving

 **futakuchis** : d) all of the above

 **ennosuffering** : guess

 **time2party** : it was the d

 **time2party** : wink

 **ennosuffering** : you're not wrong

 **ennosuffering** : also did you just type the word wink

 **time2party:** wink wink

 **futakuchis** : man karasuno is wild

 **ennosuffering** : yes and I'm crying

 **futakuchis** : do you want a tissue

 **ennosuffering** : I'll be fine

 **futakuchis** : sure?

 **ennosuffering** : you can't run to karasuno just to give me a tissue

 **futakuchis** : but I can run to give you a hug

 **ennosuffering** : ok futakuchi what are you planning

 **futakuchis** : sabotage

 **futakuchis** : shit did I say that out loud

 **time2party** : WELL EVEN IF UR INTENTIONS SUCK

 **time2party** : I'M GOING TO KARASUNO TO GIVE LIL DAICHI A HUG

 **ennosuffering** : lil daichi?

 **time2party** : yes that's u

 **futakuchis** : I want to say something really bad right now

 **futakuchis** : but I won't

 **futakuchis** : because I'm not terushima and I actually have some semblance of tact

 **time2party** : you're just jealous, babe!! OMG I KNOW

 **time2party** : I HAVE THE BEST IDEA

 **time2party** : I'LL STOP BY DATEKOU TO GIVE U A HUG TOO

 **futakuchis** : please don't

 **futakuchis** : also did you just call me babe

 **time2party** : too late!!!

 **time2party** : I have the day off anyway

 **time2party** : I'll bring kazuma

 **time2party** : he gives the BEST HUGS

 **ennosuffering** : ... do you even know where our schools are?

 **time2party** : I have a friend called google maps

* * *

 

 **shirabae:** can somebody please explain to me

 **shirabae** : why the yellow party guy is at shiratorizawa

 **ennosuffering** : you mean terushima?

 **time2party** : SHIRABU WHERE ARE YOU HIDING

 **shirabae** : nowhere. go home

 **time2party** : I WONT LEAVE UNTIL I GIVE U A HUG TOO

 **shirabae** : I didn't agree to this

 **time2party** : !!! I SAW USHIWAKA

 **time2party** : THAT MUST MEAN UR NEARBY

 **shirabae** : wait what

 **shirabae** : I'm not ushijima's dog...

 **shirabae:** don’t be so disrespectful

 **time2party** : omg

 **time2party** : HANG ON I ACTUALLY SAW USHIWAKA

 **time2party** : U KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS

 **time2party** : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **shirabae** : for the love of all that is good and holy

 **shirabae** : do not hug him

 **time2party** : IM GONNA HUG HIM

 **shirabae** : DO NT

 **time2party** : IT'LL BE FUN

 **shirabae** : NO OK SHIT WHERE ARE YOU I'LL GIVE YOU YOUR GODDAMN HUG

 **time2party** : I KNEW U LOVED ME

 **shirabae** : GET OVER HERE

 **shirabae** : I'M OUTSIDE THE GYM

 **time2party** : YES DARLING

 **shirabae** : FUCK OFF

 **ennosuffering** : ... that's the first time I've seen Shirabu type in all caps

 **ennosuffering** : huh

* * *

 

 **time2party** : yahaba help me

 **time2party** : shirabu says he wants to castrate me

 **classyahaba** : wtf why

 **classyahaba** : was it the hug thing?

 **time2party** : maybe

 **classyahaba** : ...

 **classyahaba** : what do you want me to do about it ?

 **time2party** : can I hide at ur house

 **classyahaba** : uhhhhh

 **classyahaba** : why mine specifically?

 **time2party** : bc shirabu won't suspect u??

 **classyahaba** : he's not gonna actually castrate you

 **classyahaba** : don't worry about it

 **time2party** : are u sure???

 **classyahaba** : definitely

 **classyahaba** : in fact I applaud you for what you did

 **classyahaba** : I bet shirabu doesn't get enough hugs when he needs them

 **classyahaba** : it was nice of you to share the love

 **time2party** : awww thanks

 **time2party** : u were the only one who didn't resist my hugs today u know

 **classyahaba** : :)

 **time2party** : ;)

 **classyahaba** : don't wink at me

 **time2party** : ;D

 **classyahaba:** terushima please

 **shirabae:** I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me

 **shirabae:** but no

 **shirabae:** you morons had this convo in the group chat

 **classyahaba:** we know

 **time2party :** we were luring u out !!

 **time2party :** did it work ?

 **time2party :** … shirabu ?

* * *

 

 **catman:** yo just dropping by to grab a progress report from you guys

 **catman:** we’ll give you some privacy once we’re satisfied with what we get

 **catman:** and yes we will finally leave you to your own devices

 **owlways:** UNFORTUNATELY

 **catman:** bokuto no we keep our thoughts to ourselves

 **ennosuffering:** uhh ok what do you need?

 **catman:** we need evidence

 **owlways:** basically just tell us what you guys thought the point of this chat was!! and also what you thought

 **ennosuffering:** the point was for us to get along, clearly

 **catman:** are you being sarcastic or

 **classyahaba** : what if sarcasm is how we get along

 **shirabae:** the point of this chat was to quell suffering

 **shirabae:** jokes on you, the suffering got worse

 **futakuchis:** hey sup what did I miss

 **classyahaba:** our progress report apparently

 **futakuchis:** oh lmao I totally forgot those randoms were still here

 **futakuchis:** what can I do for you

 **owlways:** we’re not randoms!!! we’re very important people you know!

 **catman:** yeah we are, respect your elders ok

 **catman:** so what did you kids think was the meaning of this chat

 **futakuchis:** idk lol

 **ennosuffering:** to be honest, it’s been kinda vague

 **classyahaba:** I don’t think there was a meaning actually

 **shirabae:** who cares

 **time2party** : maybe the true meaning of this chat is all the friends we made along the way

 **catman:** FINALLY

 **catman:** an answer I can send back to hq

 **time2party:** ur welcome

 **catman:** you can go back to your regular scheduled group chat or whatever

 **catman:** we’re out

 **classyahaba:** a pleasure to do business with you

 **futakuchis** : now that that’s dealt with I just wanna say

 **futakuchis:** good luck to yahaba and ennoshita

 **futakuchis** : graduation is on the horizon and you know what this means

 **shirabae** : that they’re worried about nothing

 **shirabae:** I for one will take my position as captain very seriously

 **futakuchis** : good luck to you too shirabu

 **futakuchis** : you and your meme farm

 **classyahaba:** thanks futakuchi!! you keep doing your thing

 **ennosuffering:** yeah, thank you, it’ll sure be a challenge

 **time2party:** hey when u guys are all officially captain

 **time2party:** we should go out and celebrate!!

 **classyahaba:** time to party?

 **time2party:** YES EXACTLY

 **futakuchis:** ;)

 **time2party:** omggg don’t wink at me

* * *

 

 **Conversation Title:** One True Captain Squad

**Conversation description:**

current goal : kuroo and bokuto out to find the frenchiest fry

current mood : a single sheep should be called a shoop

current concern : our children are becoming independent

currently listening to : oikawa_gyaaa.mp3

**Current members:**

Sawamura

oikawaduction

Moniwa*Kaname

UshiWaka

catman

owlways

**catman:** dude coming back here is like

 **catman:** this is the alpha group chat

 **catman:** we are cool af

 **Moniwa*Kaname:** did you have something you want to say, Kuroo?

 **owlways:** SAY HEY IF YOU’RE ONLINE

 **catman:** hey

 **oikawaduction:** heyy

 **UshiWaka:** hay

 **Moniwa*Kaname:** hey!

 **Sawamura:** Oh yeah, hey, I’m here. What’s up?

 **catman** : yeah so

 **catman:** everyone

 **catman:** I think bo and I are gonna relinquish our duties as babysitters

 **catman** : your teams are in good hands

 **owlways** : they're so mean to each other omg

 **Sawamura** : What?

 **catman** : A GOOD MEAN

 **catman** : friendly mean

 **catman** : but I guess we can call this a success

 **Sawamura** : I'm glad to hear it... I think.

 **owlways** : also we're gonna LEAVE THEM A PARTING GIFT WHEEHEHEE

 **Sawamura** : Oh no.

 **oikawaduction** : omg no you're not

 **owlways** : YES WE ARE

* * *

 

 **Conversation Title:** Fresh Captains

**Conversation description:**

GET funky

hahaha betcha didn’t notice I rewrote THIS !! – yuuji

why tf did you sign it with your name – kenji

seriously who wouldn’t notice ? this is on the top of the chat – shigeru

WHY ARE YOU ALL SIGNING YOUR NAMES – chikara

This is lame – kenjirou  

**Current members:**

catman

owlways

futakuchis

shirabae

classyahaba

ennosuffering

time2party

 

_owlways has added Hootkaashi to the conversation._

 

 **owlways** : hey hey HEY! meet your new friends AKAASHI!!!

 **Hootkaashi** : what have you done this time

 **classyahaba** : omg he's hot

 **futakuchis** : YAHABA JFC

 **classyahaba** : THAT WASNT ME THAT WAS WATARI ON MY PHONE (he's right though)

 **time2party** : OHHH OH MY GOD A REAL LIFE CITY BOY HAS JOINED THE RANKS

 **shirabae** : why do I feel like you've been through a lot more than you let on

 **Hootkaashi** : is this the suffering dome

 **Hootkaashi** : bokuto has added me to at least 14 group chats and I can't tell where I am anymore

 

_catman has left the conversation._

_owlways has left the conversation._

**ennosuffering** : there goes Bokuto and Kuroo

 **ennosuffering** : hey Akaashi

 **ennosuffering:** welcome to the currently 2nd years captain hq

 **Hootkaashi** : oh ok good so this is the safe chat

 **time2party** : HEYY AKAAAAAAASHIIIIIIIII

 **Hootkaashi** : wait who are you

 **time2party** : YOUR NEXT BOYFRIEND ;)

 **Hootkaashi** : ...

 **Hootkaashi** : this is not the safe chat

 **shirabae:** listen

 **shirabae** : I'm gonna destroy you next year

 **shirabae** : mark my words fukurodani

 **classyahaba** : um?? bitch we're going to nationals not you

 **shirabae** : what did you just say to me fucker

 **classyahaba** : what do you think I said

 **shirabae** : lies and slander that's what

 **shirabae:** why are you lying to someone who is clearly better than you

 **classyahaba** : wow asshole

 **Hootkaashi** : why are you suddenly arguing

 **futakuchis** : AND WE WERE GOING SO WELL

 **ennosuffering** : oh boy

 **time2party** : so guys

 **time2party** : how long do u think it would take to get to tokyo by foot

 **ennosuffering** : terushima

 **ennosuffering** : don't even start

* * *

 

Bonus:

**oikawaduction:** OH MY GOD

 **oikawaduction** : LET AKAASHI REST

**Author's Note:**

> jsyk I wrote this entire thing on my phone and the formatting destroyed me

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [almost all of us are in college prep classes we swear](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8408020) by [mukeandziamgotmelike](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mukeandziamgotmelike/pseuds/mukeandziamgotmelike)




End file.
